1 New Year, 6 New Approaches

And just like that, it's 2016! Where did 2015 even go?!

When New Year rolled around last year I wrote a blog post about my lack of faith in resolutions (read it here http://thereislifeoutthere.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/happy-new-year-and-all-that-jazz.html). I still believe they are essentially hopes and dreams that we make, but they are also simply ones we can make every other day of the year. 

I may have also mentioned that it makes sense to start the new year with a sense of clarity and a fresh approach to what you want the year ahead to hold. But along with this, there often comes a focus on ourselves. For many people, 2015 hasn't been a great year. Unfortunately, 2016 won't be that great for some either. When asked what I believe 2016 would hold for me, I honestly felt really anxious. 2015 hasn't been the most clear, and it makes me nervous to think if 2016 will be better. But I did think. Instead of thinking about what was going to happen in 2016 for me and those around me I thought about the different ways I could approach this year ahead. I hope I can remind myself of these when I feel frustrated with the year, and I hope these will give you some ideas as to how you can approach 2016 too!

1. Remember to breathe

Life is busy. Can I get an 'Amen'? I'm sure we all wish we could be a little like Zack Morris and be able to pause time, even if that means our friends are really bad at pretending to freeze. There are piles of to-do lists we can write for ourselves (and delegate a few more to others) and often it can feel as if they grow before we can tick anything off. This is literally my life when it comes to my job. Eventually though, some things become irrelevant because the time they needed to be completed for passes by. Honestly, this is actually quite satisfying. I'm not saying give up on what you need to get done, just don't stress if you don't get everything done! This wasn't even my main point here .... My main point is that sometimes your lists need to take a back seat and be put on the back-burner. You need to take time to breathe - do something that relaxes you. Get a new hobby and spend a little bit of time (or a lot if you put the 'pro' in procrastination) every now and then, as frequently as possible, giving yourself a much needed break!

2. Stop focussing on the past

This is very easily said but very difficult to do. Whilst is can be nice to reminisce, focusing on what has already happened can lead to missing what is happening in the present. I often overthink what has happened previously and this just adds to me being anxious. I need to learn to take every experience and opportunity for what it is and not bring any luggage of failure or fear. If we all approached different work opportunities, social experiences and people this way, would we have more confidence? Would we be more willing to step out of our comfort zone? Would we be more likely to realise our potential?

3. Just keep swimming

I am 90% sure that I have quoted Finding Nemo in a previous post, and I am 100% sure I will quote the movie again in the future (#sorrynotsorry). The whole concept behind Dory's ridiculously catchy song is relevant to anyone. Whatever life throws at you, whether it is something you've been waiting to happen for years or something that just flat out sucks, you have to keep going. Life is meant to be lived and even when you feel like you are crumbling under the pressures of school or work, or whether you could just really use a duvet day and spend it watching day-time TV, there is still beauty and hope in the life you live ...

4. Search for beauty and hope

I can pretty much guarantee that there will be moments in 2016 that won't exactly be fun for you. But, there will still be plenty of beautiful things about your life that you can look to and be thankful for. Maybe a life-long friendship will take it's course and fizzle out, but you will have other relationships with other friends and your family that you can look to. These relationships might even benefit and develop into something even more beautiful. Also look for the hope in your life. There will be things that you can be hopeful for. What are you hopeful for?

5. Focus on other people

Another easily said, harder to do one. When you're finding it tough, know someone else is finding it tough too. Maybe your 'toughness' won't be the same, but if you put your focus on someone else who is hurting, it may help. Do this even if you aren't finding anything tough - if someone else is, you can help them. Make sure you also take the time to develop the relationships in your life. Don't choose to only interact with people via social media - crazily enough, you can speak to someone face-to-face without one of you bursting into a ball of flames! Choose grabbing a long-overdue coffee (or caramel hot chocolate for us non-hipster people) with someone you haven't seen in a while over binge watching Netflix. Or, have that coffee while watching Netflix with that friend! Just spend this year with other people. Make memories and encourage one another. 

6. Prioritise right

As I have said, life is busy. But if we can learn to put what is important first and not put greater emphasis on far less meaningful things, life would be a lot smoother. I know that if I spend less time stressing about work than I spend actually getting it done (fellow procrastinators will understand me) my life would be far easier! That's a basic example, and probably one that relates to all of us. My main focus for this year ahead is to get the big priorities right. 1. God 2. Family and friends 3. Work. I know people reading this may not believe in what I do but I know that I need to put God first in my life. There are so many things that I waste time worrying about that could have not even developed into an issue if I had prayed or read my Bible. So, this is something that I am approaching differently going into 2016. As for family and work, I understand I have to work, and so does my family, but it's when work life takes precedence over spending time as a family that we have issues! In 2016, I have to make sure that my priorities are in the correct order! I don't want to look back in a year from now and realise that all my issues and struggles were a result of my priorities not being in the right order .... because that would be my fault, and I would rather blame someone else .... just kidding!

Despite nerves and anxieties growing each day over many different things, I look forward to seeing what 2016 holds, and what we all do with it. As corny as it sounds we only have one time to make 2016 count. So approach it the right way and actually make it count!

Breakfast at Tiffany's (Or Not)!

Catching up with old friends is always fun - and for me, it usually involves food! Last week for example, I went for breakfast with some good friends of mine, one of which I hadn't seen for a good year!! (This seems crazy!)

A particular breakfast was recommended to me, so obviously I decided to order it. Who knew that pancakes and bacon don't really go that well together?! But besides a slightly weird and odd breakfast, the get-together was sooo lovely! The three of us spent the morning giggling and talking on and on on about what we were currently doing with our lives. When you miss a year, a lot seems to happen!!! Duh!

Obviously, I have gone through the stress of applying to uni and all that entails with that! But my friends are currently at the stage where they are deciding whether to go to uni or not, what to study and what units to apply for. I do not miss this at all! So, it was really exciting to hear that one of my friends got an offer from one of her top universities!! She did good! :)

It's quite surreal thinking about where we are in comparison to where we were. A few years back and I was still in school. Now I am a year away from graduating uni and my friends are currently applying to uni. Not too shabby really. Even if I am not necessarily 100% certain that what I am doing is what I want to be doing for the rest of my life, looking back does offer some peace. I can see how far I have come - and it gives me some motivation to keep plodding on! Ultimately, I guess it's about being content with where we are at whatever stage of life we are in (Philippians 4:11).

Eventually our breakfast date had to end. We all had to get home and get on with whatever we needed to get on with but not before we suggested a monthly breakfast get-together - which I hope we stick to (hopefully our schedules will allow it!). Friends are so important to keep close. We depend on them for so much and they become a huge part of our lives. Whenever I get to catch up with friends, it makes me truly grateful that I have them in my life! However, whenever the three of us go for breakfast or food again, there will most likely be no bacon/pancake combos for me!

Erin x

(thereislifeoutthere123@gmail.com)

Finding Joy In The Little Things

As we all know, schools have cliques! We don’t need to be a Wildcat and go to East High to know that! We all want to fit in. But at what cost? 

Trying to fit in with a crowd of people doesn’t allow much opportunity for you to truly be you. Call me crazy, but you can still be yourself - without compromising - and have friends. And perhaps this is the most crazy part, you don’t have to be best friends with people who make you change who you are. Now of course I am not saying here that you have to be arch rivals with those that run in different circles to you. Being civil with one another shows maturity, dignity and self-control. If someone doesn’t like who you are, the way you dress, how you have done your hair – so be it. You do! That’s what matters!

Before I went back to uni this year - I went shopping. I needed a little pick-me-up as I wasn't exactly majorly excited to get back into assignment writing and everything else that comes with uni. So retail therapy was my go-to for some motivation, something my bank account didn't take too kindly to! Anyway, one of the items that I bought was a red rucksack. My mum was listing all the advantages and practical elements of the bag, that it was 'soooo me', how good it looked on me and how I should 'dare to be different'! But I had reservations. The thing is red. Not a fire engine, in your face kind red, but red nevertheless. And whilst my initial thought was, "Hey - I like this bag!", I questioned whether others at uni would. 

Eventually I bought the bag because I liked the bag. I would be the one paying for the bag (again, the bank account was not happy with me on this particular day!). I would be the one wearing and using the bag. So it really didn't matter whether other people didn't like it. I knew my close friends wouldn't think anything of it so I didn't need to worry about all the other people that may or may not like it. 

My points here; firstly, we have to find the joy in even the smallest things. A breakfast catch-up with an old friend, a caramel latte, walking along the seafront or whatever it is that brings a little happiness to your day - even if it is buying that red bag! Unfortunately, life has a lot of darkness and pain to offer - so why don't we just do the things that make us happy (obviously as long as this doesn't turn into us being completely selfish and forgetting to respect, love and appreciate others)!

Secondly, we don't need to surround ourselves with people that constantly question who we are, our dislikes, our beliefs, our values etc. etc. We CAN and SHOULD be ourselves! On Facebook for example, if someone is being rude to you, you can unfriend them or even just block them. It's that simple. You can stop having their input come up in your news feed and their comments on your photos and status updates. 

What about in real life? Don't stick to the status quo! (Yes - I am currently singing this song in my head!) find your true friends and don't worry about the ones that aren't. They're finding themselves too! Let them. And let yourself find who you are! We are individuals; fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)! 

Erin x